


If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known

by Writing_will_be_my_death



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Tea as a love language, im projecting onto martin and jon oh shit, jon is repressing his emotions, lonely fog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:53:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24852646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_will_be_my_death/pseuds/Writing_will_be_my_death
Summary: Jon tells himself that he does not miss Martin, that he’s only a little curious as to why Martin would break a routine he had been very adamant about following, as he picks up his phone to see if Martin had messaged him. The only notification he has is one from Sasha, telling him to please tell Tim how to pronounce calliope correctly because Tim won’t listen to her. Jon does not consider sending a text to Martin, asking him where he is and if he’s okay, ask why he didn’t come over for tea. Plenty of things can happen for Martin to miss tea time. Plenty of things. He texts Tim the correct pronunciation of calliope. It is not how Sasha pronounces it.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 25
Kudos: 75





	If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known

**Author's Note:**

> sooooooooooooooo i was gonna wait unil i finished this to post it but then i lost motivation so uhh yeah here yall go

It’s the golden light spilling through the window of Jon’s that makes him realize that Martin is late. A few months ago, Jon might have not cared, maybe even been relieved, that he hadn’t come over for 2 O’clock Tea Time With Martin. So what if Jon almost never ate lunch? It was his choice alone to do that. Unfortunately, this is not a few months ago. It is the 18th of April, 2018 and Jon was looking forward to 2 O’clock Tea Time With Martin, if only to have an excuse to stop studying for exams. That is not the only reason Jon looks forward to it, but it is the only one he’ll admit. 

Jon tells himself that he does not miss Martin, that he’s only a little curious as to why Martin would break a routine he had been very adamant about following, as he picks up his phone to see if Martin had messaged him. The only notification he has is one from Sasha, telling him to please tell Tim how to pronounce calliope correctly because Tim won’t listen to her. Jon does not consider sending a text to Martin, asking him where he is and if he’s okay, ask why he didn’t come over for tea. Plenty of things can happen for Martin to miss tea time. Plenty of things. He texts Tim the correct pronunciation of calliope. It is not how Sasha pronounces it.

Thursday does not have 2 O’clock Tea Time With Martin, because Jon has a class that runs from 1 to 4, and Martin has a class that runs from 12 to 2. It does usually have Martin texting Jon just before his 12 class reminding him to actually eat lunch for once during the week. It does not come, and Jon does not eat lunch.

Friday has a modified Tea Time With Martin, that happens whenever Martin makes it back from his 12 to 3 class. Jon jumps when his phone dings from a received text, likely Martin explaining where he’s been and why he’s missed tea time. Jon does not frown when he sees that it’s only a text from Tim.

**_Tim_ **

_ hey jon _

_ heads up drinks at mine n sashas place is now sun not sat bcz sasha has an interview _

**_Jon_ **

_ Okay. _

**_Tim_ **

_ also make sure martin knows _

**_Jon_ **

_ Tell him yourself. _

_ Didn’t you just have a class with him? _

**_Tim_ **

_ yea he didnt show _

  
  
  


**_Jon_ **

_ That’s… odd.  _

_ But you could still text or call him. _

**_Tim_ **

_ didnt answer and when i called him it went straight to voicemail _

_ hed rather die than miss a call from u tho lmao so i figured id have u check in on him _

**_Jon_ **

_ Well that’s extreme and entirely untrue. _

**_Tim_ **

_ dude he literally answers your texts in the middle of class and nearly had a panic attack when u accidentally called him in the middle of class one day _

**_Jon_ **

_ Well now I know you’re lying. _

_ I’ll still call him though, only because I don’t want to listen to his apologies if he were to show up on saturday as normal. _

_ Goodbye, Tim. _

**_Tim_ **

_ whatever lmao  _

_ bye _

Jon’s call goes to voicemail. He does not wonder why Martin missed a class, he does not wonder why Martin didn’t reply to Tim. He does not wonder why Tim said that Martin would rather die than miss a call from Jon. He does not leave a voice message for Martin. He does not forget to eat lunch, and he does not make himself tea that tastes nothing like Martin’s tea.

Saturday is a lonely day. Jon wakes up at noon, thick fog taps at the only window in his flat, and Jon does not think about how much it looks like the steam that floats out of the tea that Martin makes. Jon does not think about Martin. Jon does not miss Martin. An electric kettle sits impudently on Jon’s desk, and he does not look at it. It is hard to focus on his studies.

The fog persists into Sunday. Jon checks his phone first thing in the morning and tells himself he is not disappointed that there is no message from Martin. He will see Martin at Tim and Sasha’s flat for drinks. It’s likely that Martin simply got fed up with Jon’s assholeness and needed some time to himself, but drinks at Tim and Sasha’s is a great time to get drunk for free on shitty drinks with weird names that only Tim or Sasha would buy.

“Hey, Jon! For once you’re not the last one to show up!” Tim says when Jon shows up for drinks.

“Martin Isn’t here yet?” Jon doesn’t mean to sound so… concerned.

“He’s probably just sick or something. He got to live with his mum, so I wouldn’t worry too much about him.”

“I’m not worried,” Jon lies as he sits on the sofa. “Anyways, Sasha, how was the interview?”

“God awful- turns out there was another Sasha James who had applied and they’d meant to call her.” Sasha signs. “I would desperately like to get drunk now.”

It’s odd, having a drink night without Martin. He’s usually the least drunk, sometimes even staying completely sober the whole night. 

Jon’s had two bottles of an off-brand beer and is currently half-way through his first glass of wine with a name none of them would dare say in class.

“When’s Martin getting here?” He asks. 

“I told you, Jon,” Tim replies, slightly exasperated and words slightly slurred, “he’s probably sick or somethin’.”

Five more glasses of wine, three more bottles of beer. Tim is attempting to stack as many beer bottles as possible into a pyramid. Halfway up, he runs out of empty bottles and goes to take Sasha’s half-empty bottle, which is very much not appreciated by Sasha, as she knocks over Tim’s entire pyramid. Jon bursts out laughing at this, and wonders, suddenly, why Martin isn’t also laughing. He looks around to find Martin and gauge his reaction, but can’t see him anywhere.

“Where’s Martin?” Jon whines.

“Oh my god Jon, shut up about Martin,” Sasha slurs.

“But he’s suppoooosed t’ be here.”

“If you’re so concerned, just ask him. You got his number, Jon and is not that hard to text someone even if you’re drunk,” Sasha points out as she takes a drink from her beer.

That’s… a good idea. Jon’s going to do that, he’s going to text Martin.

**_Jon_ **

_ mstin _

_ wherr aee yo _

_ MAARTUN _

_ nattin _

_ marrin _

_ tin snd asaha dif sonetginh fimmy wgy arrbt uou hrre lahghinh _

_ nstin _

_ i niss yoy _

“He’s not answering,” Jon complains.

Tim sighs. “If you’re soooo concerned about your boyfriend just go over to his house. You know his address.”

“I don’t want to… intrude on him,” Jon sinks himself into the couch. “A-and he’s not my boyfriend!”

“Coulda fooled me,” Jon doesn’t hear Sasha say. “Seriously though,” She continues, louder than before. “go check on him if you’re this worried about him."

"I don't want to intrude-"

Tim scoffs. "Doesn't he just barge into your flat to make tea whether you like it or not?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"Sounds fair to me," Sasha adds.

“That’s just what Martin does because he’s nice and that’s the sort of thing he just, y’know, does,” Jon sighs and sinks further into the couch. “I’m not nice like that.”

“I doubt Martin was always like this. I mean, can you imagine like a, I dunno, a ten-year-old microwaving chicken noodle soup for their sick mother without being asked? ‘Course not!” Tim insists. “He made a choice to be nice, and you can too.”

“Alright, fine, I’ll go check on him!” Jon says as he pushes himself up off the couch.

“Yeah! Go comfort your boyfriend!” Sasha shouts at Jon as he goes to open the front door.

“He’s not-”

“He let you rant about emulsifiers on his birthday,” Tim interrupts. “You two might as well be fucking married, in my humble opinion.”

“... Fuck you, Tim.” Is the last thing Jon says as he leaves Tim and Sasha’s flat.

Taking public transit to a place you’ve only been to a handful of times in the fog at midnight while drunk as all hell is probably a bad idea. He’s never taken public transit while drunk, as Martin is always sober enough to drive him in his mum’s beat-up sedan. Jon wonders, not for the first time, if Martin stays sober enough to drive so that he can drive Jon home. He knows that’s likely not the case, Martin has to get home somehow as well, and he’s said he doesn’t like public transit. But. It’s a nice thought.

Jon gets off a stop late. The fog, persistent as always, seems to cling and tug at Jon’s skin. He feels like he spends an eternity, wandering through the streets, barely able to see the glowing haze by light windows. 

Martin’s house has no visible light windows. Jon’s not even sure it’s Martin’s house, but it has the flower pot at the front that Jon had seen Martin nearly break the first time he was here, so it must be the right place.

Jon doesn’t notice the for sale sign on the front lawn as he stumbles to the front door and bangs his fist on it.

There’s a loud thud, followed by silence. Jon waits and presses his ear on the door to hear more. He is not afraid to admit his smile when he hears footsteps approaching the door. He stumbles when the door is opened ever so slightly, the fog spilling in, and Jon’s smile drops when he sees Martin’s terrified face.

“Martin, are you alright-”

“What are you doing here, Jon?” His voice is strained, and if Jon were sober he’d probably think that Martin wanted him gone.

Jon is not sober, however, and is actually extremely drunk, and has decided he doesn’t want to see Martin sad ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> I eat comments like jon eats statements, except I can get any emotion out of them.


End file.
